Milla Jovovich Is Sexy

Election Season is Nothing More Than One Long Insult to the Average Rational-Minded American

2008-03-27T01:23:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how idiot sound waves increase exponentially during an election season? It's almost as though every four years some secret band of alien overlords whip out their independent-thought disintegration beams and fry this entire continent until we're nothing but a pack of ass-picking slogan repeaters and jargon jack-offers.

"Hillary has experience!"

"Obama will bring change!"

"McCain is a true American hero!"

It's a wonder to behold, this cascading into a style of little dumbness typically only found on playgrounds used by first graders. Bush himself perfected the art of using silly and stupid phrases in his effort to sell the broader War on Terror. Remember "the evildoers?" The "axis of evil." Does evil really only exist in the confines of Iran, Iraq, and North Korea? Somehow I think evil is crafty enough to slip through and exist pretty much wherever it feels like it. It's not like our borders our secure enough to stop it from seeping through anyway. Hell, our borders aren't secure enough to stop Mexican adolescents from slipping in so they can get an early start on the lawns of America.

And speaking of slippery, it's not only the American citizen who buys into all the hot air during an election season, it's the politicians. Drunk on the fornication of their own outlandish promises, they gallop through the countryside like Apocalypse Horsemen, selling every conceivable cure to our real but mostly imagined woes. And how they promise with their silver tongues:

-Universal health care to all Americans. A chicken in every pot and a flu shot in every shoulder.

-$5000 to every couple for every newborn they bring into this world. How long till the premier of 'Pimp My Crib,' when recently impregnated couples must choose between the diamond studded rattler or the gold plated stroller with the spinners?

-Induction into post-racially-divided America. Like induction into the NFL Hall of Fame, except without all the beefy Ohioans and cheesy press conferences.

-Change. Let's get this straight. Presidents DO NOT bring change. They react to change that occurs at the molecular level of society, and behave in a politically expedient matter that ensures their survival through the next election. Roosevelt did not cause the Great Depression. He reacted to it with a series of temporary, albeit stupid quick fixes. Reagan did not rebuild this country economically. He allowed for the proliferation of various factors inherent in the American framework dependent mostly on technological developments and stock market fluctuations. The buck stops at the office of the President. It doesn't begin there. Whatever "change" is going on in the country, the president is usually the last person to get the message.

Dictators bring change. Kings bring change. Emperors bring change. Because they have absolute power in a system that looks to them as the ultimate lever of control. The president is a small agent overall in the U.S. system among many, many other agents each interacting with one another like gears. Sure, the president might be the largest gear rotating, but he's also the slowest.

-An end to the Iraq War. Firstly, this IS a great idea and if it were possible to wave a wand and make it so I'd applaud that, but it's downright insulting to suggest that it can happen by the end of this decade. Ending a war takes time. Wars do not start and end with all the naive bravado found in a Michael Bay movie. Th Iraq War will end on its own terms, when it simply becomes too unbearable and too costly to continue.

Promises, promises, promises. One long insult to anyone with a brain.

I Hate It When George Carlin's Right

2008-03-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

A ton of obviousness right here in this video. There's a couple other good variations on this piece done up on YouTube by the Ron Paul people, but I'm not linking them here since the Ron Paul thing is essentially the scientology of politics. Check them out on your own, but first watch this here:

Why Eliot Spitzer Went Down

2008-03-15T23:48:00.000-07:00

Firstly, is it really appropriate to include a double entendre in the title of an article even in such an esteemed magazine as this? It only seems to add a touch of seeminess to the whole affair.

It is a great question, though. Why did Spitzer crash and burn while Clinton "survived?" Here's a few answers I thought of:

-Yes, Clinton himself may have "survived" the Monica Lewinsky scandal, but at a great cost to his party and to the 2000 presidential prospects of Al Gore.

-Yes, Al Gore lost because of Clinton's sex scandal, so while Bill may have dodged a bullet, the rest of his party took the fall later that election cycle. Why do you think people voted "values" in the 2004 election? Because the impeachment taint was still on their minds even six years later. That kind of thing tends to leave a nasty aftertaste, not unlike what Monica had to contend with post-Bill's lascivious behavior.

-Bill Clinton is charismatic, and had the Democratic party wrapped around his finger as the president. Eliot Spitzer is a balding, mousey looking North Easterner with a ton of powerful, Wall Street enemies.

-Clinton had high poll ratings prior to and even after the scandal. Spitzer was about as popular as Lindsay Lohan in a baptist church prior to his flings.

-Hillary defended Bill on the Today Show, complaining about a "vast right wing conspiracy" at the time. Have you see Spitzer's wife defend him? Who is his wife exactly? Who cares?

-Prostitution is VASTLY different than consesual sex between two adults, even if one of them is cheating on his wife.

-Spitzer was known as "Mr. Clean" prior to his fall. Bill was always known as "Slick Willy." We never expected better from him. Frankly, no one was really surprised when it happened.

-Finally, and most importantly, Bill Clinton had a roaring economy going at the time propping him up as a "successful" commander in chief. Have you looked at the economy lately? It's a piece of shit, in NY and pretty much every where else.

Take away the poll numbers, take away the good economy, take away the charisma, and you've got a vulnerable politician that as far as any voter or media pundit is concerned, is "sacrificable" for his misdeeds.

Spitzer is Tom Wolfe's Sherman McCoy come to life. He has become the whipping boy of the intelligentsia. The sacrificial lamb. The goat. Whatever you want to call him. It doesn't matter. As of Monday he's gone.

Although, I think he'll be back in the future. I'd say give him five years and he'll return to do...well, something. He's only 48. That's awfully young for a politician, or anybody. He'll be back someday for redemption. Assuming he doesn't kill himself before then.

Obama's Secret Weapon: One Hit Wonder Voters

2008-03-13T01:04:00.000-07:00

At this point there's no real way to properly gauge the size and scope of Barack Obama's grassroots campaign. It's not enough that he's won the majority of caucuses in the small, red states. It's not enough to see the stadiums he fills up whenever he comes to a town to deliver a speech. It's not enough that his website has the best Alexa ranking out of all the candidates (even more than Ron Paul's).

Who are all these people? And why is it polls showed him leading Hillary by a mere single digits in Mississippi before the primaries, when he wound up trouncing her by over 20 points? Why the discrepancy?

The voters he's animating certainly are coming out in droves to support him. The numbers in just these past few primaries are virtually staggering.

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that many of these voters have either just registered, or plan only to register just to vote for Obama in the general election (assuming he gets that far). These are shadow voters that are flying under the radar. They are essentially one hit wonder voters. They will swoop in a sudden swarm and then disappear overnight once the election results are tallied.

Nevertheless, this mysterious voting bloc Obama seems to have grown like a stem cell researcher harvesting a culture in a lab, is vast wild card. There's no way to tell what they might do in November. Will they like a young plant wither and die in the arid soil of uncertainty, or will they explode into a mighty oak of support and carry their man into the Oval Office this November 4th? They are not a dependable (i.e. knowable) voting bloc like, say, white middle voters between the ages of 45-60, or senior citizens. It's this uncertainty that makes Obama's chances in November pretty murky.

Just how big is Obamamania? Righty pundits like to demand what the substance is behind Obama's speeches. But the Obama campaign should ask itself what the substance is behind its own supporters. Where were these people in Ohio and Texas? Yes, I know Obama technically won it when you count in the caucus, but it would have been helpful had he "won" it in the spotlight rather than as an academic footnote. Where was Obama Nation in California and New York?

Most importantly, where will Obama Nation be come Election Day? Will these one hit wonders change this country, or will merely nominating their guy be their only song and dance?

Mississippi Turning...Blue?

2008-03-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

(Obama wins Mississippi, Obama wins Mississippi)

Not to rag on the state for handing a sweet and sizable victory to Obama, but can we just officially shorten the name to 'Ol' Miss' and forget about having to spell it out all the time? You'd save a lot of grade school kids a lot of heartache, not to mention kill that old bad joke about the two Italian men.

Anyways...Barack had little trouble securing the black vote. But I can't help but wonder if Ferraro's nasty comments about how if Obama was a white man he would "not be in this position," helped him only nab 25% of the white vote. It's as though any mere mention of his skin color is enough to send hicks stampeding towards the polls to vote for whomever "gots them purty blue eyes."

Then again, which is it? Is Obama black, or white? Or both? Why the obsession with tagging him as "black?" He's biracial, period.

And now he's just surpassed the 1,600 delegate count when you add in his supers as well.

5 Reasons Why Hillary's Prolonged Presence in the Race for the Dem Nomination Might be Good for Obama

2008-03-11T01:13:00.000-07:00

By now you're no doubt exhausted and annoyed with this seemingly eternal race for the nomination on the Democratic side. It's clear to anyone watching that Obama has a virtually unassailable lead, and that the only way for Hillary to win is to somehow cajole (i.e. threaten castration) the remaining undecided superdelegates to her side. She will not win by gaining a remaining of delegates in the ensuing races. She will not win by gaining the popular vote. She can only gain by stealing the nomination.

This is perfect news for Barack Obama.

Although it may seem like the longer the Democratic Party remains unable to choose a nominee, the greater the chances McCain has to seal the the deal for the general election, the opposite is possibly true. Here are five reasons why:

1.) The longer Hillary remains in the fight despite this prolonged death-by-a-thousand-paper-cuts defeat she is entering, the more the media shines the light on both her and Barack. This is perfect for the Obama campaign because it allows him to essentially focus his attacks on one person rather than at a whole party and platform as he will have to do against the GOP and McCain, and sharpen his overall populist message. It also gives him more free press. Something has to fill the airwaves over at those 24/7 news channels, and a big story like this is perfect.

2.) A lengthy intra-party fight is a good thing for the Democratic Party. It has to happen sometime. And you know, I love the fact that Hillary refuses to go down easy. I love it because when she ultimately does crash, it will be spectacular. And in one epic swoop, the fading remnants of the party will fall away like dead skin. Obama has thus far pulled millions of voters out of nowhere--he is growing the party. The only thing holding him and this new force back is the Old Guard. Once Hillary is defeated, watch even more people come out in droves.

3.) All this Clinton nastiness is only giving Obama the practice he needs to go against the GOP. I have a weird theory that probably makes no sense. I think it's possible the Clintons are trashing Obama for the purpose of getting everything out in the open now (ex. that photo of him dressed in the Kenyan garb). It's far better something bad comes out now than in October right before the election. I'm not saying the Clintons are doing this on purpose. It may be unwitting on their part. But in the end Obama will wind up way better prepared to survive a GOP onslaught.

4.) If the nomination proceeds to the convention, it could possibly give Obama a mere nine weeks to win in November. Not to knock on McCain's age, but the guy ain't exactly a young buck anymore. In nine weeks Barack Obama, all of 46, could dash around this country like a man on fire and stir up enough passion that voters just might elect him in a landslide come November. Considering all the press he's garnered and will garner between now and then, Obama will simply overwhelm McCain in terms of overall favorability. Not that a mere nine weeks is a long enough time to establish a national platform, but McCain's been a household name for almost ten years and Obama still beats him in national polls. People know what they're getting with McCain. Obama, not so much. But that mystery combined with his charisma and charm is precisely what drives his poll numbers, his online donations, and press sex appeal.

Finally, and most importantly:

5.) In order to be the man, you have to beat the man. Well, in this case, the woman. Six months ago, could you have imagined that a two year first term senator from Illinois would be beating Hillary Rodham Clinton for the Democratic nomination? Could you imagine him eluding, outwitting, and outstrategizing a former president, the presumptive nominee, seducing the press onto his side, building a powerful coalition, and not having to take any money from lobbyists or the fed? It's no small task. If Obama wins the nomination, he secures control of the Democratic party, but only temporarily. If he wins the election, he becomes the new bubba. And after all that nastiness, all that Clinton kitchen sink treatment, he's only going to end up looking stronger than before.

All that and more, if he wins.

Adding to Kos

2008-03-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

In response to '25 Reasons I Cannot Support Hillary Clinton'

26.) Hillary Clinton is hopelessly wedded to the idea that one cannot function in Washington without acting divisive and nasty, with every move a calculated function in a larger strategy to dismember your opponents. Even the Founders had to compromise many times on the basic underlying principles of this nation during the Revolutionary War. And those were all landowning men of the aristocracy class. Imagine being of that select few back in those times, when there was very little chance of upward mobility, and respecting laws that made everyone equal. Our country was built on compromise and respect, not senseless political bloodshed. See Russia for that.

27.) Her ideas about implementing health care are absolutely frightening. No choice. Government controlled programs. Garnished wages. Higher taxes. She is absolutely fixated on expanding government to absorb our rights. Do we really want this woman running our lives safely ensconced in her little White House nest, free to make any executive decision that comes to mind, with an ex-president at her side like a guard dog ready to carry out her bidding.

This unprincipled, power-hungry madwoman doesn't even deserve her Senate seat. She needs a nice, padded cell, maybe with a view of green hills and a valley.

Reasons 28., 29., and so on will undoubtedly come to me in my nightmares tonight.

Ben Staining My Rational Mind

2008-03-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

"The first step toward putting our house in order, once we are past the seemingly looming recession, is much higher taxes on the truly rich and serious enforcement to prevent offshore tax evasion."

Ben Stein

Is Ben Stein insane? He can’t possibly mean this?. Tax the rich and expect that to bail the country of its fiscal crisis? This is absurd.

How about slashing the entitlement programs that inflate the federal budget to gigantic proportions? How about reducing overall spending? How about allowing younger workers like myself to put some of their SS dollars into private 401(k) style accounts? Why not actually propose a budget that doesn’t allow Congress to spend into oblivion?

How about ending this stupid war in Iraq? Like right the fuck now?

No Ben, John McCain is not the bravest man to ever run for the presidency. He’s just another cog in a broken political machine that long ago crushed the capitalistic backbone of this country. Electing him would be like electing Dr. Kevorkian to head a research board tasked with finding a cure to final stage cancer.

Welcome to 'Milla Jovovich Is Sexy'

2008-03-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

This blog will house obvious political statements about our current obviously flawed political state of affairs in the United States. With the 2008 election currently in full swing, a disastrous war in Iraq brewing like an evil witch's cauldron of demonic power, a geriatric pre-Triassic eye sore running on the GOP ticket, and a split-like-a-log Democratic party caught between a butch lesbo fraught with bitterness and a charismatic albeit inexperienced insurgent, there should be plenty of opportunity for commentary.

I am not left or right, up or down, Republican or Democrat, Independent, Green or Libertarian. I am simply an observer floating in that elusive Phantom Zone known as "The Center." I am concerned with one thing and one thing only: The Truth. In the end, that's all that matters. Isn't that obvious?

I am not biased towards one party or another, nor towards one person or another. I am not given to cult of personality, nor seduction towards a platform just because it's the popular thing to do. I am simply all about pointing out the obvious flaws--the endless bullshit--that exists and floats freely about our political spectrum like dark matter in space. I am here to record what is meant but never said, to interpret what should be interpreted, and to merely write what is on the tip of everyone's tongue. What I write here is simply what anyone with a rational mind might write anywhere else. I am simply here to state obvious things. Like:

1.) The Iraq War is a total and utter disaster that should not have been waged and should be ended as soon as feasibly possible.

2.) George W. Bush is an incompetent.

3.) The Democrats running Congress and the Senate are useless.

4.) John McCain is an asshole.

5.) Hillary Clinton is a power-hungry freedom and liberty-hating demagogue.

6.) Barack Obama is not Jesus Christ.

7.) 9/11 was NOT an inside job.

8.) America IS the best country on earth in terms of personal freedom, civil rights, liberty, respect for the law, and the ability to make a living as long as you have the desire.

9.) This country is NOT going to hell in a hand basket. It is as it has always been--on the brink, precarious, hanging by a thread, dangling between freedom and anarchy, order and chaos, success and failure, tolerance and hatred, rich and poor, safe and endangered, beloved and scorned.

10.) Milla Jovovich is sexy.

All this obvious enough for ya?